Friday, October 7, 2011

Why do Cows all Point the Same Way?

Those of you who have braved the Swiss hills and mountains cannot have failed to notice that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of cows in the meadows. You will also have noticed that they are there in the summer, but in the winter they disappear. Magic.

If you have been hiking and have not noticed the cows, or thought that they were pigs or big cats or hamsters, then get down to SpecSavers.

Those of you who are truly observant and do not need to get down to SpecSavers will have noticed that when they are grazing, they frequently all point in the same direction.

hen they lie down, the position is somewhat random, although they do tend to sit along the horizontal, rather than up or down the slope. This is so they can play rolly polly.

However, when they are standing up, there is definitely a pattern.

Of course, there are exceptions and my conclusions have not been subject to strict observational techniques, and are almost certainly the victim of selective memory, but this way makes for far a more interesting blog. “Cows Stand at Random” is not so catching.

What do you make of these cows all pointing in the same direction? Here is a nice picture that proves the point. I know that they are not exactly cows (and what they were doing in the mountain meadow, we are not quite sure. Perhaps the farmer needed to go to SpecSavers.)

The fact that they are being bribed by some tasty grass has nothing to do with their pointing in the same direction.


Here is a better picture. It has the advantage of having cows as the subject matter, and there is no obvious bribery or “Direction Fixing” (as in “Match Fixing).

The most obvious explanation, other than the whole thing being a lot of nonsense, is the direction of the wind. If this is the case, they must have sensitive wind detectors (perhaps that is what their ears do), as most times I cannot feel any wind, but I am not a cow, am I. (No comments please)

If this is the case, do cows face downwind or upwind or cross wind? More data needed here.

Alternatively, they might just be a lot of sheep and do the same as the cow in front, just to be the same, to be one of the crowd, one of the herd. No one wants to stand out, do they. “Look at her, all snooty, pointing at 54 degrees different from the rest of us”.

I wanted to include a picture of a lot of sheep here, just in case, you were getting confused as to which animal is which. Sheep get a bad press, being said to behave like a lot of sheep, when in fact they often behave like a lot of cows. Unfortunately and amazingly, my picture collection contains no such pictures. A clear case of cow prejudice.

Another theory is that they are guided by the position of the earth’s magnetic field. It could be something to do with the metal bells that the farmers put on them, to help them sense the movement in the core. They will warn us when the earth’s magnetic field is going to change, and we are about to be destroyed by cosmic rays. At this point, the cows become the masters of the planet and the sheep and the lamas will do the milking.

My theory is that they have a secret leader, to keep order and discipline. “Here are the Directions of the day. Pass it on”. Here is a picture showing the leader passing on the instruction.