I don’t know who “They”
are, but I have my suspicions. “They” were wrong. Here is the proof. This is
the 100th entry in Grumpy’s blog.
"They" |
One person said that 100 blogs is not enough– my message to him is “Pay the blackmail money or I go public”. Oh yes – he knows who he is.
How did Grumpy do it,
some of you cry? Why did he bother, cry the rest of you. But all will agree
that it is time for some Jubilee celebrations. Grumpy’s supporters will expect
no less.
Did you know that Grumpy’s
blog took its first tentative step into the daylight on 8 December 2009 to mark
his decision to retire? From then on, he has moaned and groaned his way through
various and sundry ridiculous subjects. Common targets have been technology,
the news and newspapers, Thalwil as the art centre of the world and silly
immature behaviour of yours truly and others, such as men’s inability to find
the milk in the fridge.
The workplace however has
been taboo as, firstly it is better covered by Scott Adams (Dilbert) and Lucy
Kellaway of the Financial Times, and secondly and most importantly, I prefer
not to insult people from whom I might need a job one day.
What form should these
celebrations take? Can I match the Jubilee celebrations? Should there be a
Grumpy salute on the Thames? Will the Royal Air Force arrange a flypast? A
concert should be held with all Grumpy’s favourite singers. These should then
be duplicated in Thalwil. A double Jubilee. Fantastic. I know that you all can’t
wait.
So what is planned for the next hundred blogs? Well, first of all, there will be the 101st blog, followed by the 102nd blog and so on…….you get the picture.
What will have happened, by the time that I reach 200 blogs? Firstly, I expect to be able to write another blog about the Euro crisis (click for link). But more importantly, people will be asking whether toilet rolls are hung in a standardised way. Will the English “pounds and ounces” and “miles and yards” have taken over from the obviously inferior and ridiculous metric system?
By the 200th
blog, certain things will not have changed.
Google, Apple,
Microsoft and printers bought from Tesco in Norwich will continue to assume
that I wish to receive everything in German?
I will still not have
received compensation from News of the World for their failure to hack into my
mobile phone?
Googlemap will not have
updated Trinity Street, Norwich, showing me in my luminescent blue coat?
But what more could
there be to mark this 100th Blog? Modesty forbids me to suggest a
“Knighthood for Grumpy”, so I won’t suggest it, but it is open to supporters to
propose this.
However, it is also a
time for reflection. Don’t worry. I’m not going to give a Christmas style
sermon. However, do you, reader, think that it is time for a change. What
comments do you have? How can this blog be improved? How indeed?
And if you hadn’t realised
that there was a catch in this, then you haven’t realised the huge ego of
Grumpy. For guidance on giving suggestions and comments, please read one of one
Grumpy’s first blogs (19 December 2009) on “Commenting guidelines” (click for link) Failure to do so will be met with the most
severe consequences, whatever that might mean.
So here’s to the next
100 blogs.