Jubilee Celebrations

“They said it couldn’t be done”. They said that he would give up. They said that no one could  keep up this level of grumpiness. They said that there just is not enough grumpiness to go around.

I don’t know who “They” are, but I have my suspicions. “They” were wrong. Here is the proof. This is the 100th entry in Grumpy’s blog.

"They"

One person said that 100 blogs is not enough– my message to him is “Pay the blackmail money or I go public”. Oh yes – he knows who he is.

 

How did Grumpy do it, some of you cry? Why did he bother, cry the rest of you. But all will agree that it is time for some Jubilee celebrations. Grumpy’s supporters will expect no less.

Did you know that Grumpy’s blog took its first tentative step into the daylight on 8 December 2009 to mark his decision to retire? From then on, he has moaned and groaned his way through various and sundry ridiculous subjects. Common targets have been technology, the news and newspapers, Thalwil as the art centre of the world and silly immature behaviour of yours truly and others, such as men’s inability to find the milk in the fridge.

The workplace however has been taboo as, firstly it is better covered by Scott Adams (Dilbert) and Lucy Kellaway of the Financial Times, and secondly and most importantly, I prefer not to insult people from whom I might need a job one day.

What form should these celebrations take? Can I match the Jubilee celebrations? Should there be a Grumpy salute on the Thames? Will the Royal Air Force arrange a flypast? A concert should be held with all Grumpy’s favourite singers. These should then be duplicated in Thalwil. A double Jubilee. Fantastic. I know that you all can’t wait.

So what is planned for the next hundred blogs? Well, first of all, there will be the 101^st blog, followed by the 102^nd blog and so on…….you get the picture.

What will have happened, by the time that I reach 200 blogs? Firstly, I expect to be able to write another blog about the Euro crisis (click for link). But more importantly, people will be asking whether toilet rolls are hung in a standardised way. Will the English “pounds and ounces” and “miles and yards” have taken over from the obviously inferior and ridiculous metric system?

By the 200^th blog, certain things will not have changed.

Google, Apple, Microsoft and printers bought from Tesco in Norwich will continue to assume that I wish to receive everything in German?

I will still not have received compensation from News of the World for their failure to hack into my mobile phone?

Googlemap will not have updated Trinity Street, Norwich, showing me in my luminescent blue coat?

But what more could there be to mark this 100^th Blog? Modesty forbids me to suggest a “Knighthood for Grumpy”, so I won’t suggest it, but it is open to supporters to propose this.

However, it is also a time for reflection. Don’t worry. I’m not going to give a Christmas style sermon. However, do you, reader, think that it is time for a change. What comments do you have? How can this blog be improved? How indeed?

And if you hadn’t realised that there was a catch in this, then you haven’t realised the huge ego of Grumpy. For guidance on giving suggestions and comments, please read one of one Grumpy’s first blogs (19 December 2009) on “Commenting guidelines” (click for link)  Failure to do so will be met with the most severe consequences, whatever that might mean.

So here’s to the next 100 blogs.