Lodger of the Year Competition

We have a lodger staying with us. No, this is not a joke, but a real life person, of the male variety, to be more precise. Oh yes – he has a name, Richard. Richard is a friend of ours and is returning to England, after many years trying to colonise Germany and more recently, Switzerland and has been staying with us. Frances has already returned with their dog, Gizzi, getting the house ship shape.

I have decided to sponsor Richard for the “Lodger of the Year”. A Google search seemed to be best place to start, but this revealed nothing, or at least nothing of any use. Therefore, as you would have expected, I have decided to sponsor my own competition.

Criteria will be as follows:

- buys really good red wine (White wine does not qualify for the purposes of this competition)
- is in the apartment when you are in a foreign country and has to deal with the aftermath of a major power surge, in conjunction with an almost total failure of the fuse box (an alternative, which will be accepted, is for the lodger or his spouse, during the same aforesaid absence, to clear up the cellar following a back-up of the sewerage)
- brings back English Newspapers regularly
- listens patiently while the Landlord complains about the quality of English Newspapers
- joins in culinary experiments (“Prawn Pasta Salad” being a specific hypothetical example)
- is always good humour, and good company
- makes valiant (but mostly unfruitful) attempts to introduce into the house, the civilising concept of a “Teapot”
- donates a tea cosy to assist in the previously mentioned civilising
- comes up with practical ideas on how to move an old 73 kilo Television from its existing stand, down into the garage, and helping Grumpy avoid serious injury
- participates in the opening days of a diet after the landlords’ homecoming from the U.S.
- makes complimentary, albeit vague, noises about ridiculous blogs written by the Landlord
- buys interesting and varied cheeses to be eaten while drinking good red wine (see first criteria as above)

If you think that you have a lodger who meets all or some of these demanding criteria, then you can sponsor him (or her) in this exciting one-off event.

The Prize will be a dinner in the company of and cooked by Grumpy, consisting of Grumpy’s Special Onion Soup, Pork à la Grumpy, followed by mature cheese, all accompanied by really good red wine (But you may need to bring your own cheese and wine)