The Spiders are Taking us over

How many spiders, do you suppose, does it take to make a colony? I don’t know either, but I am guessing that the Hawkers are getting very close.

I am slowly but surely becoming obsessive about spiders. I am not afraid of them. Rather the opposite, as I study them remorselessly, every evening on our balcony, talk about them, and sometimes even talk to them.

It is important to realise that our balcony is nearly a complete eco-system. Mosquitoes come up from Zurich Lake, are eaten by the spiders and the spiders, if they are unlucky are eaten by the sparrow or sparrows. I assume that there must be more than one sparrow, but they all look the same to me.

The discovery of the importance of the Balcony Spiders was made by chance. We moved in here in November 2006 and allowed them to live as they pleased. After 18 months, we decided to have a clean-up. The whole mess of old webs, half eaten flies, and general debris caused by our multi-legged friends was too great for a tidy Thalwil apartment.

So out came the broom and swept way the spiders. And, guess what. Within two days, we were bitten to pieces by the mosquitoes, the first species in this now spiderless Ecosystem. We were distraught. How could we have done this to the spiders? What sort of mistake have we made? Was it the end of Balcony life as we knew it?

But it does not take long for these hardy arachnids to make a comeback. They are feted, welcomed and talked to. However, they are not yet named. Ali (my oldest daughter) asked if they had names. We have not yet got round to that.

Matters have moved on. Two nights ago, we found seven spiders, complete with webs, in the corner of the lounge. The balmy and warm August nights have allowed us to eat on the balcony, with a light shining by the door. The rest you might be able to work out. Mosquitos come into the lounge; spiders follow, take up residence and have a feast.

Some humane cleaning in the lounge was required yesterday morning. Those of you who are squeamish about such things will be pleased to know that the offending spiders were evicted with the use of a small glass and a “Happy Birthday” card, sent to me, some time ago, by Ed (my youngest). (“Help, Help, there is a spider in the bath. Get it out. BUT DON’T KILL IT” – Heard that one before?)

This morning, two more spiders were located, as having breached the border into the lounge, and were likewise humanely ejected, using aforesaid Happy Birthday card.

Here is a picture of the “Humane Spider Catcher”. 

The Sparrow has not been back, which proves either that they are getting too much food elsewhere or they are pretty stupid. At the last count, there were 59 spiders on our balcony. Talk about Fast Food.