Sunday, November 20, 2011

I am Returning Your Call

Do you check your missed calls, either on your mobile phone or landline? It is always interesting and perhaps important to see who was calling. What do you do if you do not recognise the number?  Are you compelled to call the number back in order to find out? Does it nag away at the back of your mind?

It might be important. Perhaps a member of the family with a new number, or even a headhunter with a job for you. Yes – you have to do the redial and find out.

What about the person on the receiving end of such a redial? Plenty of room for mischief here.

You – “Dial back the number”
They – “Hello”

You – “I am returning your call”
They – “Who’s that?”

You – “Who’s that?”
They – “I asked “Who’s that?””

You – “Did you call me earlier?”
They – “I don’t know – who are you?”

You – “You called me. You must know”
They – “I call lots of people”

You – “So did you call this number?”
They – “I don’t know. It depends who you are.”

You – “I’m the person you called earlier, but I wasn’t in”
They – “Do you have a name?”

You – “This is George Bloggs” (Grumpy - Now we are getting somewhere)
They – “I don’t know a George Bloggs”

You – “Well, you called this number”
They – “It might have been a wrong number?”

You – “Was it a wrong number?”
They – “It depends on who was using the phone”

You – “How many people use this phone?”
They – “Is that important?”  

You – “Well. Please don’t waste my time or money again”
They – “You called me. You didn’t have to.”

You – “It might have been important”
They – “Why did you think this if you didn’t recognise the number? Do you often receive important calls from people you do not know?”

You – “But what would happen if the call was important”
They – “In that case, I would have called you back.”

You – “Anyway, who are you?”
BACK TO THE BEGINNING

Etc.


Please feel free to add to this immature dialogue. I am sure that it can be improved.

The aim here for the “They” is to keep the call going as long as possible, while being patronising and annoying.

I do enjoy answering these calls. And “No”, I do not call back unrecognised numbers, except to landlines via Skype, which are free for us and can fill an idle moments without cost.

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