Plates have feelings too

It’s happened. After a career of 40 years of accident free driving and ticket free driving, at least since 1980, I have now obtained new personal achievements in both areas in the space of three months.

Look at this skip. The big evil brooding thing. Just looking for a fight. Well, it got one, and I came second.

It wasn’t my fault, even though I knew the skip was there, but reversing into it in the dark was not a good strategy (or was it just a tactical error?). Anyway a four inch wide dent would cost £1,050 to fix according to the local Norwich Skoda dealer, so I may just leave it as a Rose Valley souvenir.

As for the parking ticket, you need to be careful at the Swiss ski resorts, especially the base station for Flumserberg and look for the hidden ticket machines. Actually the ticket machine wasn’t hidden. I just wasn’t paying attention and my negligence will cost me Chf 40 (£27.50).

So much for my “Well, that has never happened to me.” What next, do you think?

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Long-serving followers of Grumpy’s blog will remember a Red Bicycle chained for several months to a fence in Thalwil. The general consensus was that this was a piece of Swiss art, designed to brighten up our day and to challenge us in our lateral thinking on “I wonder why that Red Bicycle is chained to this fence.”

http://colinhawker.blogspot.ch/2011/06/red-bicycle.html

Not to be outdone, Rose Valley has its own “Red Bicycle”. We don’t know when this bicycle came, but it was there before we arrived in Rose Valley in mid-December. When we left on 5 January, it was still there.

Is this a piece of work by the Rose Valley branch of the Thalwil Art Society? Have the Norwich Art Society decided to follow in the footsteps of the Thalwilers? Has David Gray left yet another bike lying around, waiting for me to find it for him?

Other  theories? ….and please don’t even think about “Perhaps someone left it there and forgot it”. “Abandoned”. “Stolen”. Perish the thought. Just mundane theories cannot even begin to explain the mysteries of the Red Bicycle universe?
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On a completely different piece of nonsense, I think that we have not had nearly enough written about what goes on in the kitchen, except possibly the hazards that are contained in it.

http://colinhawker.blogspot.ch/2010/06/self-defence-in-kitchen.html

So have you ever stopped to consider that after you have cleaned the plates, you then probably stack them on top of the others? What of the plates stuck at the bottom? They are never used. They might feel hurt and neglected. Totally unwanted for weeks and months on end.

As for the plates which are forever being recycled, they might feel abused and overworked.

You need to think about the problems that are being stored up for the future. Both sets of plates have their own grievances and could start demonstrating. Can you imagine the disruption to the watching of the next episode of “Silent Witness”, when the plates start marching around the lounge, clattering away, clamouring for more attention, less work, more money, compensation for hurt feelings and discrimination? There must be some European Court of Appeal to which they can turn (at the taxpayers’ expense, of course).

Knives, forks and spoons probably get mixed up a bit, I could go on down the same route with soup bowls and glasses, but I think that this particular piece of nonsense has run its course.

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Here is an annoying sight for Grumpy

 

Just look at it. Glorious sunshine. Lovely snow at 8,000 feet in the middle of the Alps. The ski slopes almost entirely to ourselves.

So nothing to be grumpy about here. It’s so unfair.

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And finally, I could not resist this. Kenneth Clark says that we will all die if we leave the EU. It’s going to be fatal. It is end of England, as we know it. The sky will fall in and all will be destroyed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21269658

Well that’s a compelling case if ever I heard one. Definitely no referendum for me, then. I don’t want those nasty people from Brussels coming over, shooting us all and burning our houses down. (Do Brussels have an army or would they bring the French troops back from Mali to do this?)

Anyway, as the Irish have shown, in 2008 and 2009, there is no real chance of the U.K. leaving the EU. If the U.K. (with or without Scotland) vote to leave the EU, we will just be made to do it again, until we get the right answer. That’s how democracy works in Europe.