Scientific Observations of the Grumpy Kind

As a matter of daily observation, we have all seen or experienced things, which cannot be explained? I know you have. These occurrences will be familiar to you as part of daily life. You take them for granted.

One day last month, having finished listening to the German news on my Ipod (Yes – I am still under illusion that I might conquer this language), I folded up my earphones and the leads, and tied them carefully. On retrieving them, they were a mess of tangled wires. Not possible under the laws of physics as we know them.

The tying of shoe laces is a relatively complicated affair. Those of us, brought up in the pre-Velcro era, have had this skill drilled in, as a necessary life skill. Yet this drilled routine provides a similar example of day to day extra-terrestrial physics. Parents, nannies or teachers are unable to explain why laces, when being undone, become knotted up, not just once, but often twice. Proper response (observed mainly by men) is to pull harder. The whole knot becomes tighter. Proper male response is to throw the shoe across the room, although the evidence that this resolves the problem is lacking.

Other day to day examples of space being twisted by Alien forces can be found inside Rucksacks. The internal characteristics of Rucksacks are a mystery to Physicists. The general rule is that, whatever you need out of the Rucksack, can only be found at the bottom, even though the item you need was the last one in. The Rucksack has to be emptied piece by piece, until the offending time creeps out, like a guilty schoolboy.

How often do we hear the cry “I know I put it here somewhere”? We hunt for a human culprit, not realising “it” has moved itself.

What happens to the odd missing socks after they have been washed (with apologies to Jasper Carrot)? Why are the car keys not on the window ledge where they were left? Who moved my glasses from the kitchen table?

How come the milk suddenly appears when Hazel goes to the fridge, when seconds earlier, it was not there? Is this evidence of parallel universes?

These objects rearrange themselves. But do they have intelligence or are they being controlled by dark matter. They seek their revenge against their oppressors, whom they drive quietly mad. They are coming to take over the world.

Exit left screaming. Ha Ha