Tomatoes have Feelings

It is still cold out there. Frost is forecast in England. Temperatures here in Zurich are struggling to get over 10 degrees, with cold, miserable nights and it is still snowing in the mountains. Who knows when we are going to be able to walk over those lovely mountain passes? But, first and foremost in our minds at this time are the tomatoes. Tomatoes have feelings too, you know. They have to come in at night. By morning, of course, they are bursting for a “you know what”, so out they go again…..and stay there until the evening.

But these tomatoes are really spoilt. I know that little dogs (and some big ones) have their knitted coats, but who heard of tomatoes going on holiday before. Yes – the Hawker tomatoes are going to Laax for the holiday break. I mean, what a life. In Thalwil, on their own, they have no one to talk to and to keep them warm. Whatever next? They even wanted their photo taken (see below for happy family snap).



Now all the plants are at it. The geraniums want to be taken cycling, and the orchids want to visit the Zurich Art Museum. (Orchids are such snobs.) The spider plant in the bathroom wants to go and see all four Bruce Willis “Die Hard” movies in a single session. Now that is what I call taste.

Perhaps there is a market opening here. In 2011, I could start a plant sitting service. A two tier service. “Leave your plants with me” as the Standard service and for a Premium Service, I will travel within a radius of 8 km. Added extras, with price list and MWST (VAT to you Brits) will include “Walking your plant”, “Singing to your Plant” , “Telling your Plant a bed time story” and “Taking your plant to the cinema”. Aggressive or fighting plants will need to be muzzled. For Russian vines, we will need proof that they have been properly trained not to destroy the roof and poisoned ivy will be segregated or must have been de-poisoned within the previous 2 months (and a certificate to prove this). All plants must have micro chips so they do not get lost.

Do bee keepers take their hives on holiday with them? All that buzzing around in the car on the way to the South of France would be enough to drive anyone mad. “Are we there yet? bzzzzz” “WILL YOU STOP THAT BUZZING”. I could “Bee Sit” and they could pollinate the plants that I am looking after.

These Blogs are getting more and more ridiculous.