Ministry of Redundant Words

I am a close follower of the news on television. I have no real interest in knowing what is happening in the world, but I enjoy criticising and heckling the newscasters, the camera work, the choice of articles, and special criticism singled out for the comments of political or religious leaders.

My close and scientific observations of the British news have led me to study the Outside Broadcasters. I have noticed that their initial words have been subject to a recent change in fashion. The Interviewer kicks off with a reasonably banal question. “So, Jim, what are the latest developments at Little Bloggwell on the Moat?” “Yes, Cynthia, well, at Little Bloggwell……..”

Yes? Well? What sort of response is that?

“George, how is Little Bloggwell expected to do in the FA Cup today?” “Yes, Fiona…….”

Yes? How can “Yes?” be the answer to a question starting with “How?” Perhaps this is an educated version of the schoolboy “errr ummm”.

However, one thing that I have learned from my general life’s experience is that as much as you might criticise fashion, you cannot stop it. So I have two suggestions.

1. Introduce this linguistic device into everyday conversation. “How was your day at work, dear?” “Yes, well, at work today …….” Someone will be taking the minutes next.

You can imagine a conversation in a bar. “Who won the Little Bloggwell Grand Prix today?” “Yes, Bill, the Grand Prix, which was held today,..…..”. Dear oh dear.

2. Another idea would be to rotate this redundant single syllable word. There could be a industry sponsored panel which would be responsible for deciding which word would be used for the following month.

Let me make some suggestions to kick off the panel’s work.

Kick
Dark
Woof
Moon

But my winner for the first month is “Frog”. “What are Nicolle Kidman’s chances at this year’s Oscars?” “Frog……” All answers must be started with this word.

You will have noticed that outside broadcasters walk around, usually towards the camera, and wave their hands while they talk? While my “Word-of-the-Month” panel is meeting, it could lay down the next walking and hand waving fashion. Ministry of Silly Walks and Words. I think that something like this has been done before.