Who Took the Last Chocolate Brownie?

With apologies to Fabian Wallmeier

You know the scenario. You are in a living room, with a group of friends. You are chatting pleasantly. The tea and cakes have been served and now comes the moment you are dreading. There is only one cake left.

Everyone pretends not to notice. No one says anything. It would be a brave and foolhardy soul, who reaches over and takes the last cake. “Would anyone like the last cake?” someone modestly enquires. “Oh no, please go ahead”, comes the reply, instantaneously and probably unanimously. The last cake is taken and everyone can breathe again.

The reply “Yes – please, I haven’t eaten for 5 days” is not a socially acceptable response on these occasions.

But what happens if someone takes the last cake without saying anything? How could anyone live with themselves, after just leaning casually across and removing the solitary item and placing it unceremoniously into their mouth. What if having digested the cake in question, they then lick their fingers, and announce “That was good, wasn’t it”, or better still, after being stared at by so many disbelieving looks, adds “Oh sorry; did anyone else want this?” What still, if the person in question has to walk across the room to get to the plate?

Social exclusion follows. The frosty stares accuse the perpetrator of this ghastly crime.

Admire, then, the person who takes the last cake. Consider the service that they are providing to their friends, by removing the object of temptation from them. Consider further, the moral courage shown.

I could! Fabian Wallmeier did!! (although, in his case, Fabian's case, it was a chocolate brownie). Please remember the complement that Fabian and I are paying to the cook (because at all such occasions, we are talking “Home Made!!” with a Capital H.). Oh, yes, us gannets perform an important environmental functions, flattering out hosts and relieving the embarrassment of our friends.

Well done, Fabian.