Lance Armstrong - here we come!

I have talked for so long, about cycling from Thalwil to Chur (120 km). When the perfect opportunity came, it had to be done or Grumpy would have to shut up. Good weather, but not too hot and a member of the “Red Candles” to accompany me. PERFIK.

Met at Wannenstrasse at 08.10. Well equipped with water, sandwiches, snacky thingies with too much sugar and healthy nuts. Cycling gloves and helmets. Suncream, sunhat (for stops) and a signed form from Jim Gollan saying that 1) He does not hold Colin Hawker responsible for anything and 2) this was all his idea and 3) Colin Hawker is not such a bad chap, despite what everyone says.

Overnight bag left in the support car, driven by Hazel. And off we go.

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3773760 shows the route (but you will need to blow it up a bit)

Thalwil to Richterswil 16 km (coffee and chocci gipfeli pause) Feeling good
Pfäffikon 22 km (Oh yes; charging on)
(short stop at Bollingen)
Rapperswil 27 km (Getting into the groove now)
Schmerikon 37 km (Pause) Feeling OK (ish)
Ziegelbrucke 53 km (lunch and recover) Feeling as if we have done some cycling
Mühlehorn 64 km (Oh, Better than expected).
Mols 68 km (long pause, and photos of the lake)

Walenstadt 75 km – nice lake - time for an ice cream and longer pause. Can we stay here, please? Now it’s beginning to hurt. Next section to Sargans is a steady 1% gradient (don’t laugh) and a 3 mph headwind and feels like climbing up Mount Everest.

Sargans (which is a town that shows its hatred for cyclists, by directing them through a closed off building site) 90 km (I am glad that bit is over)

Landquart 104 km (Knackered. Quick meeting; Jim in the Chair; Colin taking the minutes. IT WAS UNANIMOUSLY RESOLVED that we cannot stop now. Text Message to Support car, saying we are running 45 minutes behind schedule

More time lost, as we double back. "Jim, I swear that there was a path here last time I was here."

Chur (Athleticum) 118 km Arrive, pretending to look cool and elegant, with a sprint finish at 19.10 for photographs, TV interviews, champagne; book offers; statements that it was not trouble at all etc). Comments from Support Car “You both look white and knackered”- WHAT!!

…and no, you cannot go on to Domat Ems.

(For those who can do maths, 120 km in 10 hrs 40 mins is average of roughly 7 mph. Lance Armstrong – here we come.) Do they have Pauses in the Tour de France?

Followed by beer, wine, fish and chips and peas, chip butties, tomato ketchup, or HP sauce.
But definitely no grappa!!

Another tick in the box!! What’s next? Zurich Triathlon 2011? Better start training.

Swimming as a Physical Contact Sport

I bet you did not know that swimming is a physical contact sport. Actually walking across Zurich main station can be like fighting your way through the back row of the South African rugby team. Large handbags are the favourite weapons, and can deal a nasty blow if you don’t get out of the way. Turning suddenly with a rucksack is my favourite. So no quarter asked or given, especially when it comes to disembarking from the 07.50 at Zurich. Platform 51 is particularly to be avoided except by tag wrestlers in training.

Anyway back to swimming. The Red Candles triumphed at the Wallisellen mini-triathlon, taking three of the “Oldest Ten Participants” prize and successfully holding on to the last three places in the tournament.

We were gratefully welcomed by the organisers who cheered us, and then cleared up the tables and markers behind us. But we were well experienced in running with no one in sight, either in front of us or behind of us.

http://services.datasport.com/2010/triathlon/wallisellen/RANG014.HTM

In Front of the Red Candles were the serious athletes. 13,000 Swiss Francs (£7,500) for a bike that weighs less than a second class postage stamp, is a small price to pay for a top place in this internationally acclaimed sports event. A Hawker, Reincke or a Gollan in front of you in the swimming pool is like a mere spot on a smooth kitchen work surface, to be pushed aside in the quest of a sub-45 minute time.

But you learn quickly. Don’t be shocked (as someone actually tries to swim though your private parts), but be sure to stick out elbows, legs, and any other sharp bits that you have at your disposal. Curiously, if you just keep going, push, shove, knee and elbow, then no one gets hurt.

(Do I hear my Dad asking if this is before or after we get into the pool?). But all good fun for all.

Thank goodness I will be in England for the Zurich Triathlon.

It All Depends on Your Point of View

The Zurich weather has, at last, allowed us to start the cycling part of our training for the upcoming (mini) Triathlon. I say “us”. There are now three grand old men, attempting to show that the body is not aging as fast as it looks. Younger runners are just getting faster.

In this cycling training, the motorist is now the enemy. Passing too close, despite the “Dotted Line” or coming out of a side road and pushing out too far. Traffic lights are a regular scrummage, although I think that this can be avoided by adopting the Swiss cyclists’ view that stopping at traffic lights is voluntary. In fact, Motorists should be banned, at least when I am cycling.

Back in the car later in the day, roles are reversed. Cyclists hog the white line. They ride side by side (requiring a quiet, but satisfying hoot) and randomly turn left without any indication. In fact, they should be banned, at least when I am driving.

On the ski slopes, the same principles apply. When I first took up skiing, I had a minor fall with a snowboarder. In the (Zurich) office, the next day, describing this and accepting 75% of the blame, I was told that it was the snowboarder’s fault. I wanted to explain how it happened. However I was told, that this is not the point. It was the snowboarder’s fault, as a “matter of law”. Well that’s a relief and introduces a certain simplicity into the debate.

I am not a snowboarder, but I have no doubt that the same, but opposite laws apply.

Into this emotional equation comes the walker. This breed is very cautious and generally stays well clear of skiers and snowboarders. However, when walker meets a skier on a walking path, then the result is highly uncertain. Most recent experiences suggest that walkers can come off best if they hold their ground. Fun can be had by all, by the mutual exchange of insults and recrimination (in English, of course). The walker has the advantage here, as the skiers are by now downhill, and snowboots make a chase impossible.

Additional layers of complication are added by the presence of tobogganists, who take precedence over everything.

It All Depends on Your Point of View

The Zurich weather has, at last, allowed us to start the cycling part of our training for the upcoming (mini) Triathlon. I say “us”. There are now three grand old men, attempting to show that the body is not aging as fast as it looks. Younger runners are just getting faster.

In this cycling training, the motorist is now the enemy. Passing too close, despite the “Dotted Line” or coming out of a side road and pushing out too far. Traffic lights are a regular scrummage, although I think that this can be avoided by adopting the Swiss cyclists’ view that stopping at traffic lights is voluntary. In fact, Motorists should be banned, at least when I am cycling.

Back in the car later in the day, roles are reversed. Cyclists hog the white line. They ride side by side (requiring a quiet, but satisfying hoot) and randomly turn left without any indication. In fact, they should be banned, at least when I am driving.

On the ski slopes, the same principles apply. When I first took up skiing, I had a minor fall with a snowboarder. In the (Zurich) office, the next day, describing this and accepting 75% of the blame, I was told that it was the snowboarder’s fault. I wanted to explain how it happened. However I was told, that this is not the point. It was the snowboarder’s fault, as a “matter of law”. Well that’s a relief and introduces a certain simplicity into the debate.

I am not a snowboarder, but I have no doubt that the opposite laws apply.

Into this emotional equation comes the walker. This breed is very cautious and generally stays well clear of skiers and snowboarders. However, when walker meets a skier on a walking path, then the result is highly uncertain. Most recent experiences suggest that walkers can come off best if they hold there ground. Fun can be had by all, by the mutual exchange of insults and recrimination (in English, of course). The walker has the advantage here, as the skiers are by now downhill, and snowboots make a chase impossible.

Additional layers of complication are added by the presence of tobogganists, who take precedence over everything.

Who does the dotted line belong to?

Switzerland loves cyclists. In fact, most forms of exercise are encouraged. The authorities go to great lengths and expense to assist in this. Anyone who has been hiking in Switzerland will acknowledge the richness of information on the walking signs. “Albis – 1 hr 45 mins” has much more information than “2 miles” and then omitting to say that there is a climb up of 1, 250 feet.

Cyclists also well catered for. On many main roads, they are protected from the motorist (the enemy), by a white line, over which the motor car shall not pass.

But who owns the white line. Does the wheel of the bike have to be inside the white line? Must the whole of the body of the cyclist have to be over the white line? Can the wheels of the bike be on the line? What a huge number of questions? I need a lawyer.

Imagine if the motorist has the same idea. Suppose both are entitled to be on the white line. Can a cyclist and a motor car exist in the same space_time co-ordinate?

So, as a cyclist, I stay as far as I can in my cycle lane, so as to avoid a motorist exercising his rights of ownership over the white line. As a driver, I stay away from the cyclist exercising his rights over the line.

Am I allowed to hoot him, as I pass? Not even quietly?