The First Barbecue of the Year

The clocks have gone forward, the evenings are longer, the first woodpecker has been heard a few days ago, the sun is still out (well, almost), so it is time for the first barbecue of the year. It is 7.00 pm on the 2nd April and temperature is about 3degrees. Some cheating is needed here. We use one of those gas barbecue thingies. This gets everything going. (Remember saying “We’ll never get one of those. What is wrong with charcoal?”).

The Swiss neighbours are puzzled by this, but probably put it down to a strange Anglo-Saxon ritual. The Swiss are big on barbecues, with the mountain sides and local parks all providing free wood and grills for family outings. But not normally in April.

To further your education on such matters, here is an important piece of advice on the cooking utensil front, when cooking outside in temperatures below 5 degrees. Use a spatula with a plastic handle. Try holding a metal one and you’ll see what I mean.

Some medium steaks, hamburgers, and sausages, with salad and baked potatoes, washed down with some Italian wine, at Chf 3.30 a bottle (less another 20% off, as it was on offer special). Net cost in real money: £1.60.

The snow is still on the mountains, and with the new snow just before Easter, the conditions are still pretty good. Perhaps one more weekend of skiing. Then we have to wait a few weeks before the first flowers start appearing on the mountain side.

Has Spring arrived?

Three days ago, when out walking, we heard a woodpecker. Then again the next day, back at the apartment, it was the same fast drilling and unmistakable sound of a woodpecker.

This morning, two sparrows were chasing each other, looking very lively. I have no idea what they were doing.

The snow in Laax (at 3,500 feet) has melted. The meadows, at this time of year normally serving as a toboggan run, are looking bare, as is the ski run down to Falera (at 4,250 feet) – (see photos). The first butterfly in Switzerland has been spotted (so I am told). All this caused by unseasonally warm 10° weather (50° in old money).

The Swiss snow has, in the meantime, moved to the British Isles. I hear that Scotland has more snow than the rest of Europe. Perhaps Scotland will export it. Scottish ski resorts are enjoying a boom and British motorists are learning the benefits of snow chains and winter tyres.

Perhaps spring is coming early to Switzerland. I am getting my swimming trunks out ready to swim in the lake, and my shorts and T-Shorts are standing ready for some serious hiking.

But then, perhaps not. The grass has not yet started to turn green and the ducks have not returned to the Laax lake. The weather could still make fools of us all. A cold snap, 3 feet of snow overnight and the usual chaos will ensue. Yes, three feet of snow overnight will be noticed even here.

I enjoy spring. So getting more value for my money out of ski pass or seeing the spring flowers and feeding the ducks, I win either way.

(Where do the Laax ducks go for the winter?)

It All Depends on Your Point of View

The Zurich weather has, at last, allowed us to start the cycling part of our training for the upcoming (mini) Triathlon. I say “us”. There are now three grand old men, attempting to show that the body is not aging as fast as it looks. Younger runners are just getting faster.

In this cycling training, the motorist is now the enemy. Passing too close, despite the “Dotted Line” or coming out of a side road and pushing out too far. Traffic lights are a regular scrummage, although I think that this can be avoided by adopting the Swiss cyclists’ view that stopping at traffic lights is voluntary. In fact, Motorists should be banned, at least when I am cycling.

Back in the car later in the day, roles are reversed. Cyclists hog the white line. They ride side by side (requiring a quiet, but satisfying hoot) and randomly turn left without any indication. In fact, they should be banned, at least when I am driving.

On the ski slopes, the same principles apply. When I first took up skiing, I had a minor fall with a snowboarder. In the (Zurich) office, the next day, describing this and accepting 75% of the blame, I was told that it was the snowboarder’s fault. I wanted to explain how it happened. However I was told, that this is not the point. It was the snowboarder’s fault, as a “matter of law”. Well that’s a relief and introduces a certain simplicity into the debate.

I am not a snowboarder, but I have no doubt that the opposite laws apply.

Into this emotional equation comes the walker. This breed is very cautious and generally stays well clear of skiers and snowboarders. However, when walker meets a skier on a walking path, then the result is highly uncertain. Most recent experiences suggest that walkers can come off best if they hold there ground. Fun can be had by all, by the mutual exchange of insults and recrimination (in English, of course). The walker has the advantage here, as the skiers are by now downhill, and snowboots make a chase impossible.

Additional layers of complication are added by the presence of tobogganists, who take precedence over everything.

What they teach in Ski School

Tobogganists may go on any run and paths, including those used by skiers and walkers. In addition, there are tracks made specifically for them, but these are optional.

Snowboarders must learn to stop and sit down at any point, preferably sitting side by side at the top of slopes and especially where the ski runs narrow.

Under 10s – Queuing at ski lifts is optional. Parents are allowed to follow.

Beginners and Intermediate skiers must learn to ski as close to others. Do not make use of the width of the ski run. Make friends and be close to people, by overtaking and then falling over directly in front of others.

Expert and Intermediate Skiers may take part in a competition to cross directly in front of a beginner and to get as near to the front of their skis as possible. No points are awarded for crossing over the back of the beginner’s skis.

Expert Skiers must make long turns at high speed, to ensure that a deep rut is left. When this freezes over, an inexperienced skier will fall over, creating laughter for all.

General Information. It is important to be able to recover quickly having caused an accident, in order to ski off. Leaving personal details only creates work between insurance companies, and may delay the first beer of the evening.

I am glad that I have got this lot off my chest. Now I can find something else to complain about.

Winter Fun in Laax

Today we were in Laax again. Minus 15 degrees but not a cloud in the sky. So cold that, at the car wash, the water froze solid on the car. I won't try that again.

No skiing this weekend, just walking at 8,000 feet, enjoying the wonderful views.

On coming back to Laax (at a mere 3,500 feet), we visited the Snow Festival, where the whole village including children, turned out for the Swiss winter equivalent of a summer fete. Lunch just had to be Bratwurst, followed by freshly made doughnuts.

It’s Official

It’s Official. We are the worst skiers on the slopes. Well, if it is not official, then it ought to be. We have spent enough effort making sure that we struggle down all slopes, being overtaken by 3 year olds and generally upsetting the flow of the skiers gracefully and skilfully gliding down the Piste.

However, there are moments, when this is in doubt. I nearly overtook a ski instructor today with two 4 year olds, before they decided to ski off down to the end Station. Occasionally we witness a skier out for the first or second time, when we can enjoy a brief moment of triumph.

There are many consolations. We enjoy being outside. We stop frequently to look at the snow covered mountains. Even on a gloomy day like today, the scenery is spectacular (unless the light is so bad that you don’t know if you are moving or not).

So we will continue to plod up and down, trying not to annoy the snowboarders too much and dreaming of black runs (very difficult) and other ski resorts waiting to be conquered.

Prime Numbers Fight Back

Prime Numbers get a raw deal. But these ugly and easy forgotten numbers are making a fight back on the ski slopes of Laax. Generous and easy ski runs (which are the easiest) have prime numbers.

Ski run 29 is from the foot of the glacier ("Vorab") at 9,000 feet to Fuorcla. A run of over 2 miles kms, and a vertical distance of 1,750 feet, with the usual marvellous views of the mountains.

Run 31 starts from the same point and runs in the opposite direction, 3 miles long. and gently winds itself down to Scansinas at 6,200 feet.

Run 53 is a wonderful run down to the valley at Falera, provided, of course, that it is open (being lower down, the quality of the snow is highly variable).

You must look out now for ski runs with Prime Numbers. Prime Number ski runs will not be forgotten. Please report great prime number ski runs on the comments to this blog.

another competition - What's your favourite song?

It is not uncommon to be asked about your favourite song. It is more uncommon to be asked this on a skiing lesson, as you stare down the steep and icy part of a "Red Run" (pretty hard). Apparently the idea is that by singing as you ski down, you will forget the difficulty of the slope, as you exercise your vocal chords.

We were asked this question by our ski instructor, while actually perched on the slope itself. All four of us had difficulty in thinking of our answer. Not surprising, when our minds were full of terror, while trying to put into practice what we had just been told.

What would you sing to take your mind off (say) white water rafting, or bungy jumping or parachute jumping. I settled for "When I'm 64" by the Beatles, which I thought was nearly appropriate. This could be heard by the skiier in front. The suggestion to him was that "I will survive" would be a good idea (although not by me, I should add).

What song would you choose for this moment of fear? By making this decision now, it could save from having to do so in a moment of extreme stress. Suggestions and decsions in the "Comments" please.